Usually I have so much going on in my mind that it takes me a while to figure out where to start. Today, I talked to a lot of people so that helps me think through and process my thoughts so I don't have to write them down to get them out. Talking and writing are both good ways for me to process through what I am thinking. One big thing that has been going on is that I started a new workout program. I found a 12-week program on bodybuilding.com that seems really good. It has workouts and it also has helpful hints, recipes and ideas on how to eat healthy. It has been going well so far. Right now, my legs are quite sore. It's a good sore, but I have to hobble around a little bit. Oh, don't worry I'm not trying to become a body builder. That website has workouts for people like me who just want to lose fat and gain muscle. I definitely don't want to be massive or anything. I don't find body builders attractive. Sometimes those guys arms are as big as my torso! Yikes and gross all in one. I admire their determination and stamina... but it seems weird to be judged by how big your muscles are. I guess some people really like it though, whatever floats their boat. In that topic, my boat is wrecked and sinking. It certainly isn't floating, lol.
I guess one thing that is on my mind is a question about how guys act when they're somewhat interested in a girl. I don't want to say too much, but there is this guy that I'm wondering about. I haven't really talked to him much, but I catch him looking at me sometimes and so I try to smile and say hello but he generally just looks away. If he was interested, could this be a sign that he might be a little shy or something? Next time I'm going to just walk up close enough that he doesn't have a choice but to look and talk to me. haha. My question is then, what do guys generally do when they are interested in a woman? (Even if they haven't talked to her very much) The whole situation kind of makes me laugh. If I have to say the first word because he's too shy or whatever, I will. It's only a conversation, good grief! I refuse to ask a guy out anymore. I will only accept to be pursued by a man. Any input would be appreciated, especially from the guys.
Well, I have a couple weeks until my weekend classes start. I'm so happy I dropped this online class I was going to take. I need this time to rest. It has been a long year in just about every way imaginable. Classes ended, I went on the cruise, and then came back and summer classes started. I need more time than that. I did apply to a couple coffee shops in the area to pick up a job this summer, but I won't be disappointed if I don't get hired. It'd be nice, but it's been nice not working right now. I have the rest of my life to work. This is the summer to focus on myself, inside and out. I like to think of myself as a canvas that I can decorate however I desire and mostly that has just been about clothing. But, I've starting to think more about how my actual body is a canvas too. What I consume and put into it is important, as well as working out to keep it working the best it can. Exercise helps me feel better in every way, and I look better too. Along with exercise and eating healthy, I have some deeper issues to look at. My confidence and self-esteem really took a beating. It's so frustrating that there are images bombarding us everywhere we look telling us we have to look a certain way.
I believed those magazine ads and television shows for a long time. I thought that I needed to change to be more this, more that and less this and less that. You know what, I'm me. I'm Angela and this is how I am. I'm not petite, I have big feet and big hands. I have curves. I'm strong. I'm my own brand of femininity. Who says I have to be any different than what I am? Why should I listen to what culture says instead of what God says? To this culture, I am nothing, but to Him I am everything. I am beautiful because He made me and His image is in me. There is a wonderful quote in the book I'm reading called, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.
It says, "Every woman has a beauty to unveil. Every woman. Because she bears the image of God. She doesn't have to conjure it, go get it from a salon, have plastic surgery or breast implants. No, beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation." (pg. 43)
Wow, this quote is amazing. I love soaking in the words. I don't need to change to fill society's standards. I hope this fills some of you with as much hope as it has for me. Welp, goodnight blogfriends! I'm gonna get back to eating my berries and whipped cream!
How guys act around girls is rather diverse. Some guys are very direct. Other guys, maybe like the guy you are talking about, are more shy and it may take a while for them to build up the courage to initiate a conversation. And then some guys are just creepers (who sometimes are up front and sometimes are shy). I know this may not help a lot, but it is about two cents worth of info :).
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